Peter and Brian in Sheep Movie
by Bobby South
Summary: From the creators of 'Scary Movie', 'Epic Movie' and 'Disaster Movie', here comes my third spoof on the third Wallace and Gromit short, 'A Close Shave'. As a bonus, there are some characters from Family Guy, American Dad! and The Cleveland Show.
1. Introduction

Family Guy presents:

Peter Griffin and Brian Griffin as Wallace and Gromit

In

SHEEP MOVIE

By

Bobby South

From the creators of _Scary Movie, Epic Movie and Disaster Movie, _here comes my third spoof on the third Wallace and Gromit short, _A Close Shave._ As a bonus, there are some characters from _Family Guy_, _American Dad!_ and _The Cleveland Show_.

Note: I do not own any of these. Wallace and Gromit were created by the genius of animated films since Walt Disney, Nick Park, and _Family Guy_ was created by the new Hanna-Barbera company in one man, Seth MacFarlane.

Cast List

Peter Griffin as Wallace

Brian Griffin as Gromit

Lois Griffin as Wendolene Ramsbottom

Roger the Alien (from _American Dad!_) as Shaun the Sheep.

Ernie the Giant Chicken as Preston the Cyber Chicken.

Sheep Extras

_Family Guy_: Chris Griffin, Meg Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Mort Goldman, Neil Goldman, Horace, Seamus, Carl, Greased-Up Deaf Sheep, Sexy Sheep (Connie DiMico and her cheerleading squad) and Herd Leader Adam West.

_American Dad!_: Stan Smith, Francine Smith, Steve Smith, Hayley Smith, Snot, Barry, Toshi, Jeff Fischer, Jackson, Dick, Sanders, Terry and Greg and Bullock.

_The Cleveland Show_: Cleveland Brown, Cleveland Brown Jr., Donna Tubbs, Roberta Tubbs, Rallo Tubbs, Lester, Holt, Terry, Federline Jones and Coach Charles McFall.

Also Appearing:

Consuela as the Dresser Robot Mark 2

The Kool-Aid Man for cameo

The Evil Monkey for a cameo

Joanna as a Hippo

Klaus the Goldfish (from _American Dad!_) as himself

Mr. Flippers (from _The Cleveland Show_) as himself

Tim the Bear (from_ The Cleveland Show_) is the Prison Warden

Recurring:

Dr. Hartman as the Dresser Robot Mark 1

Tom Tucker as himself

Diana Simmons as herself

Ollie Williams as himself

And Stewie Griffin as Feathers McGraw

* * *

The Griffins were camping this summer. They were camping with friends: Quagmire, Joe and Bonnie Swanson, Cleveland Brown and his new family. They were also accompanied by a CIA man and his family. They took their goldfish with them, too.

Everyone was having a great time. They were camping in tents, walking in the forest, swimming in the lake, eating delicious food and trying out fun activities.

Then one rainy night, they were going to watch the movie _Lawrence of Arabia_. Everything was set up. But then the power went down.

"Keep calm, everyone," said the Camp Master, leaving the cabin. "I'll go and see what the problem is."

"What do we do?" cried Lois. Everyone was asking that question.

Then one of the Smiths went in front of the screen. "Hi, my name is Roger Smith," he said to the campers. "While we're waiting, I have a story I can tell. It's about sheep and robots and love. Bet you can't guess which story I'm going to tell."


	2. What the hell is going on?

A dark and cold and lonely night... would not wake a drunken Wallace up! Not even his very own burps and farts! But his burp and farts did keep Gromit awake in his own room. Gromit tried to sleep but –

"Wallace's burps and farts are as loud as when Jack Bauer tries to scare the terrorists!" he shouted. So he got up and started to knit. Then the room started to rumble like the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake.

Outside, the "earthquake" was coming out of a rumbling green lorry. It stopped at a traffic light. A small sheep was hanging out of the lorry, bleating. Then he coughed.

"I can't go on like this!" he complained. "I can't do the begging much longer. Those sheep rustlers can find another replacement. Goodbye!"

And he broke through the lorry and stormed off in 62 West Wallaby Street, before they lorry drove away and anyone noticed.

But Gromit did notice that he couldn't complete his knitting because his tread had been eaten off. "What the hell?" Gromit thought to himself. "I'll do some work on my novel." And he reached down to pick up his laptop but found that it had little battery left. He reached for the charger, but that electrocuted him like a Victorian generator. He left go and saw that his charger had been chewed. "This is more mysterious than Sherlock Holmes will ever find out."

_Gromit read that Sherlock Holmes was investigating a murder in London. Dr. Watson bumped into him, literally._

_"Watch where you're bloody going, Doc!" shouted Holmes, in a Bugs Bunny accent._

_"Sorry, Holmes!" yelled Watson. "But I have to save myself from the murderer of Jake Jones!"_

_And Watson ran and was not far off from a thug, that Holmes caught._

_"Not so obvious, huh?" chuckled Holmes. _

* * *

Later, that night, still tiredless as a wild kid, Gromit sat back and watched the news.

"Good morning, I'm Tom Tucker," greeted Tom Tucker.

"And I'm Diana Simmons," joined in Diana Simmons.

"First of all, we go to Ollie Williams at the Wensleydale Creamy. How's the cheese, Ollie?"

"DELICIOUS!" yelled Ollie at the factory.

"Thanks, Ollie!" said Tom. "Now, in other news, we hear that the sheep rustlers are still out there. Pretty that Gil Grissom left the _CSI_ show and retired. We could use a man like that here, right, Diana?"

Diana said nothing. Then the breakfast menu rang from Wallace from his bedroom.

"Hey, Gromit!" called Wallace. "How's that porridge coming on?"

"Come and see for yourself, fatso!" chuckled Gromit, as he pulled down the lever.

"Hey, you mind those awful man – Ahh!" Wallace screamed his head off as he came down and landed on the chair – through ripped trousers. His white arm sleeves and his green tank top were completely ripped.

"Hey, robot, what the hell is going on?" yelled Wallace.

The dresser robot mark two came in. "Mr. Wallace, your clothes are ripped."

"Oh, so you know?" demanded Wallace. "Well, why don't you fix them?"

"No, no," protested robot two. "Old one's doing it."

And in came the dresser robot mark one. "I checked everywhere. Nothing there. It's a poor rated house for a mouse to rent in," it chuckled.

"Anyway," subject-changed Wallace. "Where's my porridge?"

"You want something done, you got to do it yourself!" muttered Gromit, as he pressed the button. The porridge flew up and landed on his porridge bowl. Wallace was about to tuck in, when –

More porridge flew? Right in his fat face! Gromit was so confused himself and he tried to pulled the button up.

"No! What the hell are you doing?" yelled Wallace. "Turn the bloody machine off!"

Gromit got up and studied the porridge gun. He pulled the plug out and saw the wires have been chewed.

The robots were laughing at Wallace being stuck on a wall of porridge. This pissed Wallace right off. "Don't just stand there, you waste of bots! Get me down from here."

"Do you think we'd do that now you've insulted us?" giggled robot mark one.

"Besides, I have animal poop to clear up," moaned robot mark two.

And both robots went off. Wallace freed himself and dried himself with the towel.

"There's something fishy going on, even though I don't think it would be a fish," Wallace thought to himself.

"Oh, so, now a fish is so boring, he shouldn't get a damn!" That voice came from Klaus the goldfish from the lounge.

"Hey, you were down here," exclaimed Wallace. "Did you see anyone down here last night?"

"Well, I know that someone's been at your cellar, looking for wine," answered Klaus.

Wallace ran to the cellar and was in for a shock. All the wines have disappeared and the beer bottles flooded the floor. "GROMIT!" he yelled.

"I didn't do it, Wallace," protested Gromit.

"No, it's not that," said Wallace. "And it's not Wallace anymore." And "Wallace" took his Wallace outfit off and Peter Griffin turned into "Sherlock Holmes". Holmes threw the "Dr. Watson" outfit to Brian Griffin, now out of his "Gromit" uniform.

"Now, Watson," began Holmes. "Let's get to the bottom of this."

"No, Sherlock," said "Jack Bauer", chucking the Watson uniform back to Holmes. "I'm going in and find the terrorists behind this!" And Jack left.

The phone rang and Klaus answered it. "Hello, Wallace and Gromit's… No! I mean, Sherlock Homles' and Jack Bauer's Wash 'n' Go Window Cleaning Service. No, they're not Wallace and Gromit anymore, so they can't help you."

Holmes, getting out of his "Holmes" outfit, grabbed the phone. "No, this is Sherlock… reprising as Wallace. Yes, ma'am, we'll on our way!"

Wallace sat in his armchair. Klaus pressed a red button on the kitchen wall and Wallace shot up into the air.

* * *

The armchair threw Wallace inside his wall, like a waste disposal. He shot down and fitted into his wellington boots. He flew back for his head to connect with the helmet. He span around like washing machine to fit into his overalls. Finally, his balls hit the seat of the motorbike and it span up to the garage. He was greeted by millions of people.

Not Jack Bauer, but Gromit came into the garage and jumped into the sidecar. He took the picture off in front of his sidecar. He looked at it and he laughed at Wallace puking in a sick back on a slide in the wall.

A boot came out of the wall and stamped on Wallace's nuts. This made him go extra fast when he started off. The cheering helped him too.

Outside, the pond was surrounded by gnomes. Two was in a speedboat, with one water-skiing. There were about ten getting drunk on Caribbean drinks. And there was one on lifeguard duty, watching a thousand gnomes playing in the water.

Unfortunately, the pond flipped over so Wallace and Gromit could drive out. The traffic gnome waves them across with his "Go" sign. A few seconds later, the gnomes that went under came to the top through one of the bricks.

"This is getting crappier!" shouted the life-guard.

"Sorry you weren't quick enough to beat me at this job!" shouted the traffic warden.

And the gnomes got into a big brawl.

* * *

In West Wallaby, Wallace and Gromit were driving through the town of West Wallaby. Gromit grabbed the ladder.

"What are you doing, Gromit?" asked Wallace.

"Using the force," replied Gromit.

Of course, Wallace didn't have the faintest idea what Gromit was talking about. But Gromit aimed the ladder to a drain grid and he pole-vaulted up the shop called _Wendolene's Wools_. He looked into the mirror and nearly fell off due to an evil-looking monkey pointing at him. Gromit hooked his rope to the sign and dropped down to grab the bucket and sponge of Wallace.

Meanwhile, Wallace lost focus on the job and looked at the client. She smiled nervously and waved. Wallace returned the wave and it nearly showed his –

Luckily, Gromit shot down and cleaned the window. "Just hiding that boner you're getting from her," Gromit chuckled.

"In return, you need more wool so I'll… go and get some for you," he stuttered, walking in and leaving Gromit the hard labour.

Inside the shop, Wallace couldn't get his eyes off the woman.

"Can I help you?" asked the woman.

"Just buying more wool for my mate outside," answered Wallace, putting on a brave attitude, but not a strong focus on what he was doing. He took one ball of wool... at the very bottom. BANZAI! The wool shop was now literally a wool shop.

"Does your friend need _that_ much?" joked the woman.

Wallace laughed with her. "That's so funny. Here, let me pick these up. No trouble." But he wasn't looking at what he was picking up; his eyes were worshipping this woman. And nothing can stop that. Well, except if you don't grab a ball of wool and a chicken leg instead.

"This is Preston, my chicken," the woman introduced.

"All right, cluck?" chuckled Wallace as he patted the suspicious chicken on the head.

Then Wallace went back to picking up the balls of wool. There was one left and Wallace about to grab it, but something stopped him from taking it. The woman's hand.

"Do you mind?" she demeaned.

"Sorry," apologized Wallace. "It's just that – "

"Well, what? I don't have all day."

"What the name of my client?" Wallace finally spat out.

"The name is Ramsbottom. Wendolene Ramsbottom," the woman answered.

"That's a lovely name. As lovely as your bottom," chuckled the inventor. "I'm Wallace."

"Wallace what?"

"The windows." The inventor paused for a second. "Is this place yours?"

"Well, my father _did_ leave to me, not giving something that _doesn't_ belong to him," answered Wendolene, looking at the picture of her father and Preston. "He was an inventor."

"Never! So am I," Wallace said proudly.

"Wait a minute. Aren't you the same Wallace that invented the self-sweeping chimneys?"

_Years ago, Wallace and Gromit did a commercial ad for their new invention – the self-sweeping chimneys._

_"Hi, Wallace and Gromit here," greeted Wallace, "to introduce you a tidier way to getting rid of soot from your chimney."_

_"But less eco-friendly," added Gromit._

_"Gromit, one of these days, I'm going to put you down and it will look like an accident, even to God!" yelled an angry Wallace. "Now," he said in a better mood, "less words, more movement, eh?"_

_Wallace put the invention in the fireplace and turned it on. The invention was just a metal block. Then metal arms with white gloves sprang out. It grabbed a sweeper and started getting lots of soot of the chimney._

_Wallace was very proud of himself. "So, as you can see, the chimneys will be as clean as my glasses."But, behind him, the block was rumbling and soot covered all over Wallace and Gromit and the whole room!_

"Your dog's waiting," said Wendolene, seeing Gromit hanging upside down.

Wallace nodded, giving Wendoloene the balls of wool he picked up. "Aye. The bounce has gone from his bungee."

"Oh, they're spanking arse," praised the wool-keeper. "You've done a grand job."

Then Gromit threw up on the clean windows.

"Now you've an awful job."

Wallace ran outside. "What the hell's going on?" he demanded. "You think extra work means extra money? Because that's not how this business works!"

"You were getting a boner inside and let that chicken bastard shooting me up and down!" yelled Gromit.

* * *

Back at 62 West Wallaby Street, Wallace and Gromit weren't the first ones there. It was Preston. He went to the back door and found sheep wool on the dog flap. He smelled it. But for what reason does this wool have to do with him? And what is he doing here?

No time for those questions, because he could hear the motorcycle that came to wash his windows had arrived home. He quickly saw a coal bunker and hid himself under there. He was not finished here.


	3. The Game's Ahoof

After a hard day's work, wouldn't you want to just jump in on the comfy sofa and have a nice hot cup of tea? That's what Wallace and Gromit wanted when they came home, but –

"Bloody hell!" yelled Wallace. His house was destroyed and his sofa was ripped. Pictures have fallen and the house smells like alcohol. "What's all this? Buglers? Thieves? Diseased rapists?"

Then they heard a noise from the kitchen. Gromit went to the door, listened with his ears and opened the door. He was in shock. What he saw was drunken sheep drinking beer with the two dresser robots.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked a confused Gromit, scratching his head.

"Oh, yeah," began the sheep. "Well, these guys have been working so hard, I thought I'd cut them some slack by having a drink! Some inventors and owners you guys are!"

Wallace angrily came in. "Drinking on the job? I should fire you by putting you on the fire! You guys are a waste of space and time, like C-3PO."

_Wallace and Gromit were being chased by Imperial Stormtroopers at Cloud City. C-3PO was following them and panicking._

_"Wait for me! Don't leave me here! Masters!" Those were the last words C-3PO ever said._

_Wallace and Gromit looked behind._

_"There's nothing we can do for him," said Wallace tearfully. "He'll be put to good use. I know it."_

_Two years later, C-3PO's gold plating was used to build a solar panel for cloud city where the city can have power without damaging their environment or planet._

"Now, get up and clean this mess!" ordered Wallace.

"No, no, I too drunk," complained the dresser robot mark two.

"Then clean the sheep!" commanded Wallace.

"Does that that mean I have to wash his woolly asre?" asked the dresser mark one drunkenly.

"Yes," answered the sheep.

"Fine!" yelled Wallace, picking up the sheep. "I have to do everything myself here!" He picked the sheep up and stormed off.

"You've got room to talk," muttered Gromit, as he followed.

_You can trust Gromit with those words. After all, every time a hovering machine exploded in the room after a fight of crackers or an auto chef robot makes a cock-up for your breakfast or your television exploding from throwing a ball into it, everything will go wrong and guess who will have to clean it up?_

* * *

Wallace took the sheep down to the basement and put him in the tub of the latest invention – the Knit-o-matic machine.

"What is this?" complained the sheep. "This isn't exactly Ted Turner's bath."

"Maybe not, but with a quick shampoo, you will feel like you're swimming in the Blue Lagoon," Wallace told the sheep, as he pressed the buttons. "I tested this on Gromit and that's what he said. Isn't that right, lad?"

A disagreeing Gromit nodded. "Actually, it felt like – Yeah, whatever." He actually remembered the bath spinning him around like the Tasmanian Devil. Anyway, he ignored that and set the machine from "Light Shave" to "Wash".

"Right! Off we go, then," cheered Wallace.

And the machine pumped and washed the sheep around. Of course, the sheep hated it. "I feel like the crew in _The Perfect Strom_! Now I know why they gave the movie that title."

"No, this is just like Wet 'n' Wild and – Oh, crap!" Wallace saw the pipe coming down and sucked the lamb up into the machine. "Oh, my God! Gromit, what the hell are you doing?"

"I don't know!" protested Gromit. "It's got a mind of its own." Gromit tried to turn the "Light Shave" to "Wash".

Then all Wallace and Gromit could do was see the wool spinning around and being turned into a jumper. The dresser robot mark one took it and slammed it on Wallace's fat face.

"There you are, sir," said the drunken robot. "One perfect jumper for a fat face."

"Oh, brilliant! Smashing, this!" muffled Wallace through the jumper. "It's a bit tight."

"Then let's get three more sheep and make the next jumper an XXX large!" laughed Gromit, leaving a hurt Wallace, with the jumper still on his head, giving his best friend a finger.

Then, out from the machine, a strange grey alien shot up. "Oh, God!" he complained. "That was so totally…" He realized he wore nothing and picked up his wool. "Awesome," he finally finished.

Wallace took the jumper off. "Ah, you look all right to me."

"T-t-t-ooo yooouuu m-maybe," shivered the sheep, "but I'm n-n-n-not to-o m-m-mys-self."

"Well, come on, Shaun, I'll get you something warm," said Wallace, moving up.

"Shaun?"

"Well, what do you want to be called?"

"I like Elvis or Fred," answered the sheep.

"Well, you don't look like them," argued Wallace, as he and 'Shaun' walked up, leaving Gromit to shut the door.

But the room wasn't finished yet. Out of a drain grid shot up Preston! He had witnessed the whole scheme and was very impressed. He looked and found Wallace's plans for the Knit-o-matic machine.

"Gotcha!" he exclaimed triumphantly, swiping the plans and vanishing without a trace.

* * *

No one knew that the plans were stolen, because Wallace and Gromit were busy tiding up the house, while Shaun was just drinking all the alcohol. Gromit was getting annoyed with this, but Wallace was more pissed off with the robots, which were still refusing to work.

"I've given you two days off and this is how you thank me, by refusing to work?" he yelled.

"Yes, we're on strike!" shouted the dresser robot mark one.

"I'll tell you what," sighed Wallace, reaching the end of his rope, "go down to the basement and clear all the rats out."

"No, no," protested the dresser robot mark two. "Rats are training turtles to become ninjas."

Inside the basement, there were about twenty giant rats, teaching about two hundred giant turtles with colourful ninja head bands to be ninjas.

Wallace barged in. "I'm sorry to disturb class, but you guys are expelled! So go to another school." And he slammed the door. The animals were just stunned and silent.

"Well done," cheered the chief rat. "You did not let that man tell you to leave."

"But he just spoke!" pointed out one turtle called Michelangelo.

"But the point was we're staying here and not moving for him. You're taking your training seriously."

"What training? I thought I was a great painter."

Wallace just had an idea. "Gromit, you know we're doing the clock tomorrow?"

"Well," sighed Gromit, "it'd better not be like the last time."

_Last time they were cleaning the clock tower, Wallace was holding onto the big finger of the clock. He was screaming as loud as his burping and farting goes._

_"See, Gromit?" he asked. "It's more funnier with screaming than that silent movie with Harold Lloyd."_

_"No, Wallace, I, along with everyone in the world, knows that Harold Lloyd was better," answered Gromit. "What you're doing is stupid and pointless."_

So it was decided that Gromit would go up alone… and get splashed by soap powder! From below?

"Sorry, Gromit, that was a bit thick!" called Wallace, who was sitting in the sidecar next to his bike. Shaun was with him.

"Here," cried Shaun as he picked up some toys from Sci-Fi movies and shows. "You can practice with this."

Shaun threw an Imperial TIE Fighter. Wallace fired with soap studs and – BULLS-EYE! The ship was washed down. Shaun threw a Klingon spaceship and Wallace got that. Shaun threw more: The _Lost in Space _ship, two _Top Gun_ planes, five _Pearl Habour_ movie planes, two Naz-gul riders from _Lord of the Rings _and… a pair of grapes?"

"I hate grapes," complained Shaun.

"God! Will you guys give it a rest down there?" yelled a frustrated Gromit, trying to focus on his work.

"All right, Gromit!" called Wallace. "I'll give you peace and quiet."  
"So will I," joined in Shaun. He followed Wallace to the wool shop, but Wallace shut the door behind him. Then Shaun smelt something.

"Smells like Jacob's Creek!" he cheered happily and he walked through the gates to find it.

Gromit was watching from above and saw Shaun. Then he looked to see Preston was watching from his room. Gromit couldn't help but suspecting this scary-as-his-feathers bully was part of something and Shaun was a victim.

* * *

Inside Wendolene's Wool, Wallace was feeling very comfortable… not! He felt shy and didn't know what to say to Wendolene.

"Tell me about windows," Wendolene asked politely.

"Windows are… made of glass and are… very easy to clean."

"Oh, really (?)"

"Yes, I'm inventing mostly," said Wallace, putting his head on his neck.

"What kind of inventions?" asked Wendolene.

"Well, like the helping you wipe the crap of your table and using it without damaging the environment."

"That's what daddy used to do," sighed Wendolene. "He would have loved to have met you. Poor daddy."  
"What happened to him?" asked Wallace in his best act of symphony.

Gromit was wiping the windows of Wendolene's Wool, looking at them chatting.

"Help!" shouted a voice.

"What?" Gromit looked up.

"Help!" cried Shaun, before he was pulled in back into the hole of the roof.

Gromit put the ladder in the correct position, climbed up and peered in. It was dark, but he could see Shaun.

"What's going on?" Gromit asked.

"Big smile!" yelled Shaun.

ZAP! A big camera took a picture of them.

"That was rubbish!" exclaimed a voice. "Please give a happier smile!

Gromit and Shaun did. ZAP!

"Now give a funny face, like Mr. Bean's," commanded the unseen voice.

Gromit and Shaun did their best Mr. Bean impressions. ZAP!

"Now give me your best Hannibal impressions!"

"Why not Hannah Montana?" asked Shaun.

"Just do it!" ordered the voice.

Gromit and Shaun did. ZAP!"

"Okay, thank you. That's a wrap," the voice said thankfully.

Gromit took his head out of the wall and took a breather. Then he climbed down the ladder. He went to the shop. Wallace and Wendolene were so busy chatting; they didn't notice Gromit going upstairs.

"You know," Wendolene said in an I-need-a-man mood, "no one's talked to me in two years. I'm having such a good time."

"And you are the – How can I put? – Of all the women – " Wallace was sputtering his words.

Upstairs, in the room he and Shaun were taken from a camera, Gromit entered the room. It was deserted and nothing what he saw was there. Not even Shaun. Then he felt something with his paw. He picked a can up.

"Preston's Dog Food?" Gromit thought. "What's this got to do with sheep?"

Then he heard a voice. "Gromit! GROMIT! Where the hell are you?"

Gromit turned and looked at a window. There was Shaun in a big green lorry.

"Hold on, Shaun!" cried Gromit. "I'm coming!"

And, as quick as lighting, he stormed down the stairs. He was invincible to Wallace and Wendolene as they were still chatting.

"Come on!" cried Wendolene, who just got bored. "I don't have all day. Spit it out."

"Well, what I'm trying to say is – " But Wallace just couldn't get it off his chest.

Outside in the courtyard, Gromit went to the back of the lorry and pulled down the lever. The hatch fell down.

"I'm coming, Shaun!" yelled Gromit, as he started to march up the ramp. Then he stopped for some reason. "What the hell?"

Out of the lorry, there was a "5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Sheep are Go!" Later, there was a whole flock of sheep. "FREEDOM!" they cried.

Gromit moved to one side to let the sheep pass. They were so happy and because they've been in there for Lord knows, that they didn't stop.

* * *

Back in the shop, Wallace cleared his throat and began to make his move. "Of all the ladies I've met, you are the most – " It started well, but he couldn't finish because sheep were trying to take him with them.

"Why don't you come with us?" suggested a sheep named Seamus.

"But I'm trying to – "

"Are you sheep or mouse?" asked Stan, one of the sheep.

Stan whistled and three sheep, by the name of Sanders, Jackson and Dick, helped him away. Wendolene was stunned to see this and was distracted by a sheep called Quagmire.

"A lady without wool, like yourself, is a pretty picture. Ow! Giggity giggity goo!" And he ran out with his friends.

"Same time next week?" Wallace waved before he vanished from the wool shop.

* * *

Back in the courtyard, Gromit found Shaun tied to the end of the lorry.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Shaun. "Get me free!"

"All right! Patience is a virtue!" protested Gromit.

"Not one of mine!" complained Shaun.

Anyway, Gromit got him free and Shaun quickly ran free. Gromit tried to run, but only Shaun made it out.

Outside, Shaun saw what was happening and he hid behind a box. He saw Preston and Robocop together.

"I caught him, Officer! I caught the sheep rustler!" cried Preston proudly.

"Excellent! The streets of England are safe now, thanks to you, Preston," Robocop told him. And both of them climbed into the lorry and started the engine.

Shaun stopped hiding and made for the vehicle. He tried taking the plank off, but it was no good.

"Don't worry, I'll get help!" yelled Shaun to Gromit as he watched the van disappear.


	4. It's time for Prison Break!

"'Caught bang to rights you were'. Now he is to be judge by Judge Dredd? Oh, my God. You really let us down this time, lad." Wallace couldn't believe what he was reading in the paper. His very best friend had been arrested and now he felt lonely, despite there were two dresser robots he couldn't mend and a whole flock of sheep. Two fat sheep were eating his paper. One began chewing to the other side.

"Hey, this is my side!" complained a fat sheep called Chris.

"My side tastes like someone's arse!" argued the other fat sheep called Barry.

"Piss off!" shouted Wallace as he got up and pass through the sheep. He found it hard to get through the woolly buggers. He saw about ten guys getting drunk.

"Hey! I want a drink!" demanded a sheep called Cleveland.

"What, and let the drink your moustache away?" yelled Quagmire.

"I work hard! I deserve a drink more than anyone else!" yelled Stan.

As the boys were busy getting drunk, Shaun took the wine bottle. "Ha ha! You're all too slow!"

Wallace made his way to the noisy kitchen.

"Excuse me, sir," said a fat black sheep called Cleveland Jr. "Where are all the breath mints for getting rid of the salty breath from my mouth?"

"I think I put them in a chest… in the sea!" chuckled Wallace nastily. He walked on. He saw a little black lamb falling down, like he was doing Superman. Wallace caught him.

"Watch what you're doing, Superlamb!" yelled Wallace, putting him down and walking off.

"Hey, my name is Rallo and – Wait a minute. You were right!" Rallo sighed.

Wallace saw three young male sheep called Federline, Neil and Jeff playing music. Three young female sheep called Roberta, Hayley and Meg were watching.

"That sheep with the drums really bounce," declared the black sheep called Roberta.

"No, it's the one with the flute that charms me," protested the sheep called Hayley.

"At least, you guys won't be arguing over one!" moaned the sad sheep with the pink hat and glasses called Meg, who walked away.

"Where's she going?" asked Hayley.

"If she doesn't want to take my boyfriend away, that's fine with me," Roberta answered.

"Any girl who can't decide can have me!" The girls turned around and saw a sheep with glasses called Steve there.

"Don't mean to offend you, but we're doing all right," said Hayley and she and her friend walked off.

But Meg heard and she ran for Steve, but she was blocked off by a sheep in glasses called Neil. "Hi, Meg," he greeted. Steve couldn't see Meg's annoyance and sadly walked away. He bumped into Wallace.

"If you want to win the girl," advised Wallace, "get a make-over!"

Steve was now very upset and he ran out crying. Then two other sheep – one white with scruffy hair and an Asian sheep with glasses – came to Wallace.

"Sir, there's someone at the door for you," said Snot the scruffy white sheep.

"It's that monster who trapped us in that green lorry," moaned Toshi the Japanese sheep. He spoke Japanese and Wallace couldn't understand what he was saying so he went to the door and found Wendolene there. But she wasn't cheerily or friendly; she was looking unhappy.

"I'm sorry about this," she sighed.

"What for?" asked Wallace.

"Oh, nothing. I don't want to talk about," she moaned. "Just stay away from me, from my shop, from my silly windows and my sexy, sexy breasts!"

"Was it something I did wrong?" asked Wallace.

"No. I'm, uh – Moving out to Iraq to help the future of their children, who _are_ the future of Iraq."

"Well, I can come with you and help you. Like the time I was a teacher – "

"No!" interrupted Wendolene. "Just forget me. I'm not worth a damn to you!" She turned away.

Wallace didn't know what to say, so he just watched her go. The sheep had stopped what they were doing and were watching Wallace and Wendolene the whole time. They were stunned and silent, except Cleveland Jr. who was eating leaves of a bush.

"I'm so sorry about Gromit!" sobbed Wendolene, as she walked away.

"Huh!" exclaimed Wallace. "She wouldn't let me finish my flashback! Now these readers won't know!"

* * *

As the days had gone by, life for Wallace felt like he was a servant for Satan. For a start, he fell down through his bedroom to the dining room in his underpants and his vest. Two sheep – one black called Donna and one white called Francine – fell with him too.

"Next time, I'm walking down instead of taking the short cut!" complained Donna.

"Actually, I fought it was pretty awesome!" moaned Francine, who had hit her head and couldn't think straight.

Wallace picked himself up and something hit his face.

"I thought you wanted to read that!" called Shaun. "It's about your buddy.

Wallace took and read the _Daily Mail_ paper entitled 'SHEEP DOG TRIAL CONTINUES ITS TRAIL!'

"Oh, Gromit," sighed Wallace.

The next day, he got a _Daily Times _paper entitled 'GROMIT BIT ME ON THE BEHIND, SAYS SHEPPARD!'

"Oh, Gromit! Why the hell did you do that?" yelled Wallace.

Finally, the next day, the _Lancashire Evening Post_ stated that 'GROMITS GETS LIFE FOR GOOD!' Wallace and the sheep, who were reading it with him, were very sad.

"Oh, Gromit!" moaned Wallace.

Then the TV came on and it showed BBC News.

"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker," greeted the male TV presenter.

"And I'm Diana Simmons," greeted the female TV presenter.

"First, we go to Ollie Williams, who is going to turn on the Blackpool Illuminations lights. How's it going, Ollie?"

Ollie Williams was on stage and pulled down the lever. The city of Blackpool was now the sun sitting on the Earth.

"VERY BRIGHT!" yelled Ollie.

"Thanks, Ollie," said Tom Tucker. "And now we go to Judge Dredd to pass the sentence to killer dog Gromit."

In the court room, Gromit was standing next to three other criminals – Judge Death, Shojun the Warlord and Stan Lee. Judge Dredd entered.

"Shojun the Warlod," began Dredd, "causing a war and killing millions of people – that's death for you." He shot Shojun and moved to Judge Death.

"You can't sentence me to death," protested Death. "Or my name isn't death."

"Oh, really?" asked Dredd, as he pressed a button and Death was more than dead – he was boiled in lava. He turned to Stan Lee.

"Stan Lee," continued Dredd, "killing people with knives and with mutants – DEATH!" He shot him and finally turned to Gromit.

"Just get it over quickly," Gromit sighed.

But Dredd didn't pull his gun out. "Killing one sheep and filling in all of the paperwork of the sheep rustlers – you get life imprisonment!"

Dredd bang his gavel and the guards took Gromit away.

Wallace couldn't believe what he had just seen. "Oh, no!" he cried.

"Oh, no!" cried Bruce.

"Oh, no!" cried Chris.

"On, no!" cried Meg.

"No, no!" cried Seamus.

"No, no!" cried Mort.

"No, no!" cried Quagmire.

"Oh, yeah!" cried the Kool-Aid Guy, who crashed through a wall into the house. Everyone stared at him and he nervously left.

"Well, I'm not going to sit and watch my best friend rot in chains," said Wallace. "I'm going to break him out."

"Why can't you just bail him out?" asked Chris.

"Because you eat almost of my money!" answered Wallace rudely. "I have only enough to pay taxes!"

"What you need," spoke a fat sheep called Carl, "is a breakout plan like from _The Shawshank Redemption_."

"More like _Prison Break_," said Wallace. "Right, let's get planning."  
"Let's?" copied Seamus. "Why should we risk our wool or wood for a dog who we never knew?"

"Because he did it for your woolly tails and, if you're going to live in my house, you're going to do what I say and when I say so! All of you! Now, COME ON!" yelled Wallace so loudly that no sheep defied him. Then he turned to a bald sheep called Bullock. "How did I do?" he asked.

"Very good, Wallace," said Bullock, patting his hoof on Wallace's shoulder. "Very good."

And Wallace ran off, falling down and hurting his foot. "Ah! Ah! Seez! Ah! I'm coming, Gromit!"

* * *

In prison, Gromit was bored. All he had in his cell was Fyodor Dostoyevsky's _Crime and Punishment_. But he was lonely, yet he had rather unpleasant company. Because there was a little hole to the next cell. No one could get through, but Gromit could hear his old enemy.

"So, Gromit, how does it feel?" asked Feathers McGraw.

"Shut up, McGraw!" yelled Gromit. "You and I are nothing like the same."  
"Well, we're both in prison. Both of _us_!"

"Yeah, except you deserve this and I don't."

"That's what anyone would think," pointed out Feathers.

"Except those who plead 'guilty' at the trial," pointed out Gromit.

"No more chit-chat about this negativity!" ordered Feathers. "We need to talk about something else."

"Hey, I got something for you," said a hippo called Jonnah, poking her head next to Feathers. "Let's get a drink from the drunkest part of this cell – a bar!" And she and Feathers left, laughing together.

Then, in his cell, Gromit received a parcel from the door. He picked it up and opened it. It was a crossword sheet. "Well, that will give me a nice change to do." Then he did it. He took him until nightfall to complete it. He looked at it and he wrote it in Elfish (which was what he was supposed to do). If that crossword was set in Elfish, he knew Wallace would send that. He got out his Elfish dictionary by J. R. R. Tolkien and translated it as "FRIDAY NITGHT, 8:00PM, BE READY – YOUR FAT, YET INGENIOUS FRIEND. HA HA HA!"

Gromit look at his calendar and saw it was Friday and his alarm clock said 8:00pm. What now?

"Why didn't you send me to the top?" asked a voice that belonged to a sheep named Holt. "After all of the mockery of my shortness, you could cut me slack by putting me to the top of the column."

"I would, but the fat idiot said I must rescue the useless pup because he saved mine!" moaned the voice of Shaun the sheep. He appeared at the window and, with an electric saw, he cut through the bars of the cell window.

"I don't believe it!" cried Gromit, as he moved to the window.

"Even now?" asked Shuan sarcastically. Gromit began to climb onto him.

"Hey, man!" cried Feathers. "Where are you going?"

"Away from your garden, Mr. McGraw! Ta da!" chuckled Gromit, as he got away from his cell.

Joanna had to laugh, but Feathers didn't. "Why did you find that funny?"

"Because he's referring you to Mr. McGregor."

"The guy who chased Peter Rabbit in his garden?"

"No! The guy who played Obi-Wan Kenobi!" laughed Joanna loudly. So did Feathers.

Outside, Gromit didn't get very far. He was standing on the top of a sheep column that went from the top level of the prison to the ground floor. Wallace was holding the sheep, but he couldn't see where he was going and he could hear the sheep arguing.

BLAST! "BLAST! I was going to shoot a wood pigeon for dinner, but you stopped me!" yelled Lester the sheep.

"Hey, watch my handsome face!" yelled Terry the sheep.

"Oh, shut up and fall yourselves together, lads!" screamed Wallace. "Just like mmmee..."

Wallace fell down after slipping on soap. He landed and saw Gromit and the sheep falling closer to him!

=== SCENE MISSING ===


	5. Chases and Battles

Wallace, Gromit and the sheep were in a strange field, far away from the prison. There next to Wallace stood Mr. Flippers, a walrus with a moustache and a top hat.

"Now, Wallace, don't let your face get blocked or your ears disturbed or your feet slip on the soap," he told Wallace. "Well, take care, everyone."

"Thank you, Mr. Flippers!" cried everyone, as he took off in the air.

"What if someone finds out where I am?" asked Gromit.

"My sheep have taken care of it," answered Wallace.

At the prison, the guards were chasing a sheep that looked like he had been dipped in grease and was wearing a Gromit face mask.

"You can't catch me, pathetic guards!" shouted the sheep. "You're too slow! I'm too fast!" But the sheep was caught in a net.

Then the warden of the prison, a bear in a uniform called Tim, saw the action and walked to the captured. He took the mask off and saw it was a sheep.

"This isn't Gromit!" shouted Tim. "This is a sheep dressed like Gromit. Now find the devil and get him in here, so we can protect the Erath from evil.

"Sir, what about this sheep?" asked the First Officer.

"Take him and spread blood on your door to stop God coming down and taking your children's life," answered Tim.

* * *

In the field, the sheep were having a nice game of baseball, under the command of Coach Charles McFall. "All right, ladies!" he cried. "Let's do it."

While they were playing the game, Wallace and Gromit stood next to a wall.

"Thank you for getting me out of there, Wallace," said Gromit.

"That's all right," said Wallace. "But it's not over yet. I suppose you're going to have to skip the country now. If you don't, you'll be hunted down like Michael Scofield and Lincoln Burrows."

"Which country do you think I should flee to?" asked Gromit.

"Well…" thought Wallace. "You can flee to India, Alskea, Brazil… What else? Japan, China, Korea…"

"Green van," interrupted Gromit.

"Green van? You mean, Greenland? Your fur won't make it that – "

"No! I meant a green van coming through!"

And, as always, Gromit was right. A green van broke through the wooden gate and parked. The people that got out must be the rustlers. _Maybe we can prove my innocence,_ thought Gromit. But Wallace did think the same. He was shocked to see that it was Preston the Chicken and his owner… Wendolene Ramsbottom.

"No! No!" yelled Wallace. "It can't be! Wend – "

Gromit put his hand on his mouth. "There must be some explanation behind this. Let's hide behind the wall." And they did so.

Meanwhile, Wendolene blew her whistle and all the sheep stopped their game and got on board the lorry. But Preston saw one in the corner – Shaun the sheep, drunk and peeing in the bushes near a mountain of glass bottles.

"Get on the van!" ordered Preston.

"Make me," Shaun answered back drunkenly.

With that remark, Preston leaned forward and began to grab him, grinding his teeth. "NOW MOVE IT OR I'LL – "

"STOP IT! SPOT IT, PRESTON!" shouted Wendolene as she knocked the hat of Preston's head. She went to strike him again, but he caught it and took it off her.

"I want no more of this bloody rustling!" shouted Wendolene. "The wool was one thing, but this is more evil than the Sith!"

"Shut up and get moving!" ordered Preston, pushing Wendolene into the van with the sheep. He chucked Shaun to Wendolene and closed up.

"Wow! Crap service!" moaned Shaun. "And I thought Jack Bruno from _Race to Witch Mountain_ was a bad driver."

"Let me out!" yelled Wendolene. "You're not going to turn me into dog meat and then I won't become dog crap either!"

Wallace and Gromit have been hearing this from the other field, dressed as a scarecrow. "Dog food? Dog crap?" cried Wallace.

"Cut it out!" yelled Gromit. "That's disgusting."  
"Help!" yelled Wendolene and the sheep as they drive away.

"Don't worry, Wendolene," called Wallace back, as he started off the engine on his bike and took off. "I'm on my way!"

"Can't you give me a minute to get down first?" asked an unstable Gromit.

* * *

Wallace and Gromit, now in his sidecar, were now on the road driving as fast as the speed limit would let them.

"We lost them!" yelled Wallace, but he was dead-as-a-doornail wrong. Behind him was the green van, catching up with them!  
"How did that happen?" asked Wallace.

"They must've hid and let us pass!" answered Gromit. "But why?"

But, as if there wasn't enough trouble, Inspector Gadget arrived in his Gadgetmoblie.

"Here was got, Inspect G!" cried the Gadgetmoblie. "Dog and owner racing down the street for no reason."  
"Sir, kindly pull over!" ordered the Inspector.

"But we're being chased by the green lorry behind us!" Gromit told them.

"Sir, kindly pull over!" ordered the Inspector again.

"WHAT PART OFF 'WE'RE BEING CHASED BY THE GREEN LORRY BEHIND US' DID YOU NOT UNDSTAND?" shouted Gromit as the top of his lungs.

"Sir, kindly pull over!" repeated the Inspector again.

"Wallace, you tell him!" commanded Gromit.

"We're being chased by the green lorry behind us!" Wallace told the Inspector.

The Inspector turned around and the green lorry pushed the Gadgetmobile away.

"Do something, Gadgetmobile!" yelled Inspector Gadget.

"Like what?"

"Er, Go-Go Gadget brakes!" With a sudden and sharp jeer, the car stopped. "All right, we did it!" cheered the Inspector.

"You mean _I_ did it," moaned the Gadgetmoblie, who had crashed into the rocks.

Meanwhile, the green lorry bumped the motorcycle and it was going for another when – It span around telephone lines on the road (due to Gromit who caught the lines with his hands and made the motorcycle spin around to avoid the van). Now it was _them_ following the green van. But soon the motorcycle was broken in _dos_, due to the lost bolt that sealed it all together.

"Gromit! What have you done?" yelled Wallace as Gromit's sidecar drove into a different direction. He saw he was coming to a cliff! He tried to stop it, but he went over, as did Indiana Jones and Colonel Vogel fighting on the tank.

Gromit saw he was coming to the ground from 2000 feet and it didn't look good. Gromit pushed the buttons – all of them – in his sidecar and his sidecar was no more… a sidecar, but a small plane!

Gromit pulled the levers up and Indy saw what was happening so his whip caught the plane and was sent up, leaving Vogel and the tank to crash.

On the edge of the cliff, Indy's father, Henry Jones Sr., Sallah and Marcus Bordy were mourning for Indy. Then Indy was dropped to them and they gave Gromit a salute, as he took off in the air.

"You're all right, Junior!" cried Henry Sr, hugging his son.

"NOT IF YOU KEEP CALLING ME 'JUNIOR', I'M NOT!" yelled Indy, threatening to jump on purpose.

* * *

Meanwhile, while on the same track, Wallace had caught with the green van. The ladder Gromit had put up was in front of him and he climbed it to try to release the van open.

"Wallace, help me!" yelled Wendolene.

"Yeah, help us, Wallace!" yelled the sheep.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing?" yelled back Wallace. He reached the lever and opened the door. But he fell down with the door and the ladder was now vertical.

"Me first!" cried Shaun as he trotted out.

"Be careful, Shaun!" shouted Wendolene.

"Hey, what are we waiting for?" asked Sanders.

"Let's go!" Jackson ordered.

And they all did, much to Wallace being pissed off.

"Steady on! Single file!" But, of course, no one listened to him. "SINGLE FILE, I SAID!" he repeated. Suddenly, he sprang into the air with the ladder. He looked down and saw the motorcycle was driven by Shaun and the rest of the flock was like a scrunched-up ball. "Oh, get yourselves organized down there!" he yelled.

Suddenly, Wendolene was dead shocked and Preston was surprised at what he saw in his mirrors. The circus must be in town, because there was a sheep driving the motorcycle with a man and a flock of sheep standing on the ladder as if they were wing walking… on the road.

Up in the air, Gromit had caught up with them.

"What can I use to stop that van?" thought Gromit. He searched his plane and found a box of porridge, but found it empty. The only thing he could find was a bunch of sheep leftovers. "It'll have to do," Gromit sighed, putting his helmet and goggles on. He flew down.

Wallace and the sheep saw him and gave him a salute. Gromit returned the salute and maintained his position.

Wallace and the sheep looked on ahead and saw there was a tunnel coming their way! "Watch out, guys!" Wallace warned.

"What shall we do?" asked Dick.

"Well, I'm not changing! I'm driving!" yelled a difficult Shaun.

"Let's get into a scrunched-up ball!" suggested Meg.

"No! Let's play Captain Scarlet!" suggested Barry.

Everyone was arguing and fighting that they didn't know they were in a ball already and they managed to get past the tunnel. But they went on so much that they didn't know the van had slowed down and they went into the van.

"If you weren't fighting, I would have stopped!" moaned Shaun.

Preston felt like he was winning. Then sheep muck entered the lorry. He saw Gromit coming in, firing sheep muck all over the lorry. "Take crap, feathered bastard!" shouted Gromit, firing at will.

But Preston wasn't easily beaten. He closed all the windows. "Beat that, loser!" He jerked the van to Gromit's side to push him further. Gromit fell for it and was very close to hitting the clock tower. He pulled up and soared to the sky. But the clock tower _was_ hit by the Slitheen spaceship. The spaceship fell into the canal. The ship opened and out came a small pig.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked the Doctor, the ninth Incarnation of the Time Lord who was near his TARDIS, with his companion Rose.

"I'm trying to do Roswell… in Preston," answered the Pig.

"Well, that won't work," the Doctor told him. "Even the remake of _The Day the Earth Stood Still_ with Keanu Reeves was a better performance."

"Keanu Reeves made a remake of _The Day the Earth Stood Still_?" asked Rose.

"Oh, that's right," the Doctor corrected himself. "That movie doesn't come till later."

Nearby, Preston sneaked into a billboard called Bob the Baker's buns. It opened and went through, unseen for a flying Gromit in the sky, looking for them.

* * *

Inside the factory, Wallace, Wendolene and the sheep were in a truck and moving. They didn't know where, but Wallace soon found out. "Where the hell did you get that from?" he demanded. He saw a copy of his knit-o-matic, under Preston's name. "That's my machine! I've got pedant pending on that!"

"Now you know how I feel about how Walt Disney took the credit for Mickey Mouse… My creation!" exclaimed the ghost version of Ub Iwerks.

Then they were all thrown into the tub, except Shaun who managed to climb out and walked away. The rest of the gang was being washed exactly like Wallace's machine.

"You like that?" asked Preston. "You'll love the next bit!" He pulled down the rope and the chute came down.

"Looks like this is going to be some ride!" cheered Francine.

"That doesn't look like a hot water slide!" said Donna.

"It's not, unless your feathered bastard pet changed it!" yelled Wallace to a glaring Wendolene.

Preston pulled down the lever and Wallace was being snuck up. He was pulled down by Wendolene, who was trying to stop Wallace being pulled up. The sheep was screaming as they hold on the edge of the tub for safety.

"Where's Gromit?" asked Wallace.

"Shaun, do something!" yelled Wendolene.

"No, I don't think I will," said Shaun selfishly. "It's a good show. I don't want it to end." He laughed hysterically and fell back down, accidentally switching the lights on.

Outside, Gromit was having no luck at all. Not even with the help of three X-Wings from Rouge Squadron was any use. Then the lights from the factory tower came on saying 'PRESTON'S DOG FOOD'.

"I see it," said Luke Skywalker.

"Not so fast, Luke," ordered Gromit. "Take Red Two and Three and hold up here and wait for my signal to start your run." With that, Gromit made his plane dive through the wooden doors, bringing the wings in. He made his way through the next metal door, bringing the wings in, and the brick wall, which chopped the wings off. "Oh, damn! Too late!" he groaned.

But he quickly focused on flying to Preston and firing sheep crap at him.

"Attaboy, Gromit!" cheered Wallace, before getting sheep crap in his mouth. "How could you leave this stuff everywhere," he moaned to the sheep.

Gromit was getting too close to Preston that the evil chicken grabbed the propeller. That sent Gromit spinning around and sending him straight up into the roof.

"You guys can't fight for yourselves so I must do everything myself!" Shaun came down and grabbed the rope. He pulled it, letting Wallace out and causing him to make a splash big enough to send the sheep out of the tub. Preston was pulled into the tube and sucked into the dryer, followed by the shearing part.

Gromit woke up and realized what was going on. He grabbed a rope, tied it to a metal pole and reached down to the control panel, switching it to "Close Shave".

"Well done, Gromit!" cheered Wallace. "That'll teach the old bastard!"

"You know, he's still my dog!" shouted Wendolene angrily. All she, he and the sheep could do was watch his feathers being turned into some sort of Native American jacket. Everything seemed to be winning for Wallace and Gromit and their team, until the machine made a lot of banging noises and everything was stopped and mega silent as golden silence

"He's malfunctioning!" spat out Wendolene.

"Mal – what?" asked Wallace.

"Malfoy, Harry Potter's nemesis," replied Wendolene. "No! Malfunctioning!"

"I thought Lord Voldemort was the Harry's main antagonist," said Wallace, scratching his head.

"Preston is cyber chicken," continued Wendolene.

"Cyber chicken? I never thought I'd see the day," said the Doctor, in his tenth incarnation, with his assistants Martha Jones and Donna Noble.

"No! A robot chicken!" explained Wendolene.

"Yeah!" cheered Chris. Everyone look suspicious at him. "What? I created that show!"

Then the door opened and out came Preston in his naked, featherless, metal body, snarling.

"No, I didn't create _that_!" confessed Chris.

The metal git stalked over to Shaun. Shaun got up and pulled his fists up. "Pull 'em up! Pull 'em up!" cried Shaun. "I'll fight with one arm behind my back! I'll fight you standing on one foot! I'll fight you with my eyes closed!"

When he did, Preston made his move! But he missed due to Gromit pulling him up to the roof.

Shaun opened his eyes. "Oh, it's you. Saving my life. I'm very grateful… I guess."

Back below, Preston turned his eyes to the sheep. But Steve, Snot, Toshi, Barry, Chris and Cleveland Jr. stepped out. "It's morphin' time!" cried Steve. They were now the Power Sheep Rangers. Steve the Red Ranger drew his power sword and charged for Preston. Preston kicked him in the face and knocked him to the wall. Snot the Black Ranger with his power daggers charged for Preston, but the daggers got stuck in the metal skin and the chicken swiped him to the other sheep. Cleveland Jr. the Yellow Ranger and Chris the Pink Ranger (because it was the only colour left) with their power spears charged for the metal chicken, but Preston dodged them and the rangers landed on the floor, hanging on the floor. Toshi the Green Ranger and Barry the Orange Ranger with their bows and arrows fired at Preston, but the arrows missed him. He caught them and fired the arrows at the rangers and trapped them at the wall.

Then laser shots were being fired at Preston from the air. There were two vipers from the sky.

"Kara Thrace reporting for duty," said Francine, dressed like the hot-shot pilot.

"All right," joined in Quagmire, dressed as the original Lieutenant Starbuck.

"What are you doing?" asked Francine.

"Your job!" pointed out Quagmire.

"Are there two Starbucks?" asked Francine.

Then both vipers were shot down. Both Francine and Quagmire ejected.

Preston blew on his shotgun he had just fired. "Who's next?"

"Us!" Preston turned around and saw Meg, Hayley and Roberta dressed out as what they're calling themselves "Wallace's Angels". They charged, but Preston grabbed Hayley by the arm and threw her to the wall. Roberta luckily kicked him in his face and in his stomach. But he grabbed her hair and threw her behind him. Meg threw oil on him and lit him up. It seemed to work, but he wasn't dying. Meg avoided his blow.

The rest of the sheep tried out their heroes, including Jack Bauer, John Locke, _The A-Team_, _The Unit, _Robin Hood, King Arthur, and all they could do, but Preston was no match. They were forced to give up, but the two dresser mark robots arrived with the feathered jacket and quickly swiped it over Preston.

"How could you work for him?" asked Wallace angrily.

"He offered us good money," answered the dresser robot mark one. "Better money than you!"

But that wasn't over for Preston yet. He walked forward and lifted up a lever. Suddenly, he, Wallace, Wendolene and all of the sheep were on a platform being lifted up. Wallace saw something that was _not_ part of his version of the machine. "Ah, it's a sheep mincing thing," described Wallace to Preston's machine that had a huge set of spiked rollers. "Now, I have to admit, that's clever!"

"What's so clever about mincing sheep?" asked Meg.

"Yeah!" joined in Hayley.

Wallace took his "Wallace" uniform off. "Shut up, Meg!" ordered Peter Griffin, putting his Wallace uniform back on.

"And Hayley," joined in Stan, "shut up about stuff you don't understand!"

"Guys, gangway!" Gromit called. Everyone turned to see Gromit swinging down, crying his Tarzan cry. He pushed Preston onto the conveyor belt. Preston ripped his feathered shirt off and saw Gromit.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you couldn't stay in your prison cell," said Preston evilly. "Well, I'll do it the quick and painless – "

"Actually," interrupted Gromit, pointing behind Preston, "it's _you_ who are going to get eaten, not me."

Preston turned around and was shocked to believe that the mutt was absolutely right! He was getting nearer the spikes!

Wallace was trying to get the belt to stop, but, when he pressing the buttons, all he was doing was making the belt go faster, go uphill and go past ring hoops of fire! The Doctor, in his eleventh incarnation, came past Wallace and used his sonic screwdriver. "You see, you just need a little sonic," he said happily.

Wallace, mad-as-a-brush as he was, grabbed the screwdriver and it whirred on the controls, tipping himself, Wendolene and all of the sheep on the belt.

"Nice going, Wally!" yelled Terry the sheep.

"Phew! I never had to run this fast since the Major Leagues!" panted Coach Charles McFall.

The Doctor landed on bed. There waiting for him was his companion Amy Pond.

"What happened to parachutes?" she asked.

"You can't always trust the ropes to send out the chutes, Pond!" answered the Doctor.

Shaun saw what was happening and he liked what he was seeing. He leaned in closer to get a better look, but he didn't focus on what he was holding – which was a rope. He fell down and screamed like Tarzan! He was heading straight for the conveyor belt.

Wendolene saw him incoming. "Duck!" she yelled.

"Where?" asked Wallace.

"Here!" explained Donald Duck, who was running next to him.

"No! Over Here!" yelled Daffy Duck, who was running on the left-hand side of Wallace.

"No! Me!"

"No! Me!

Then Wallace and the ducks both ducked down to avoid Shaun. He didn't hit Gromit and the other sheep, but Preston didn't get out of his way. And the metal chicken bastard let out his last squawk as he was sent into the spikes. The machine had stopped completely but not enough time for the runners to stop, so they ran off the belt and landed on… seats in a theatre room? They looked up and saw Nick Park and Seth MacFarlane on the stage.

"I am pleased to announce that me and Nick here are about to make a movie together," announced Seth

"Yes," agreed Nick. "I glad I'm doing a movie for Brits and Americans."

Nick and Seth laughed at this. As did Wallace, Gromit, Wendolene and the sheep.

"I thought we were all for the can then!" sighed Wallace.

But one person was. Whose parts that once belong to a giant metal chicken was being poured in the Preston's Dog Food cans? You know that, don't you?


	6. Unhappily Ever After

Days later, there was a contest in the Lake District called _Sheep's Got Talent_. The last two constants were Connie DiMico and her cheerleading team (calling themselves Sexy Sheep) and Meg the Sheep showing her video diary of everything she and the sheep did to help Gromit break out of prison and defeating Preston.

First, the Sexy Sheep went on stage and did an incredible cheerleading act on stage. Everyone gave applause. Then it was the three sheep judges' time to judge.

"That was very good," said Terry.

"That was cool," said Greg.

"How long have you been practicing that?" asked Simon. "Because that hard work seems about to be paid off."

Next it was Meg's turn. Everyone laughed at her appearance, but everyone went silent as she set up her video camera to the projector and showed everything from breaking Gromit out of prison to shoving Preston into the mincing machine. Everyone gave a thunderous applause more than the Sexy Sheep.

"You may not pretty, but talent doesn't need beautifulness," cheered Terry.

"That was the most thrilling thing I have ever seen," said Greg excitedly.

"You risk your life and your friends' lives to prove a dog's innocence?" asked Simon. You should be at the news station…" Meg and the audience bowed their head in shame, much Connie's happiness. "Not! Welcome aboard!"

Minutes later, Simon got up with the results the public has voted for. "And the winner of _Sheep's Got Talent_ is… Meg!"

Everyone cheered. But Connie confronted her. "You may have won, but I'm getting the field and the land to myself and my friends, got it?" she chuckled. Then she was pulled around by Roberta.

"You talk to my friend like that again and the only things you'll have are diseases in your body and the street!" the threatening sheep shouted.

"Yeah!" joined in Hayley. "We homeless sheep would like to somewhere to live!"

And the three girls kicked her in the stomach. Connie rolled down the hill and fell into the pond. She was pulled out by Neil the sheep.

"Do you need a hoof?" he smiled.

Connie had never been so annoyed in her life.

* * *

The next day, the sheep moved in and it was like a paradise. At Horace's bar, Wallace, Gromit and Wendolene were talking to the new herd leader, Adam West.

"So can we trust you to take care of my sheep?" asked Wallace.

"Sure you can," answered Herd Leader West. "I will be the first one to be hurt or get sheered."

Then Quagmire and Cleveland ran by, sheered.

"We've been sheered!" cried Quagmire.

"I feel exposed and nasty!" cried Cleveland.

"Well, accidents do happen," was all Herd Leader West could say.

Wallace and Wendolene took a walk near the field.

"I just want to say thank you," said Wendolene, pressing a button on her remote that Wallace made for her. "He's just like he used to be."

Then Preston, clucking like a normal chicken, came with a newspaper in his mouth.

"Oh, don't mention it. Thanks, Cluck!" said Wallace, taking the newspaper from his mouth. "Give me a shout he starts acting like a bastard again."

"You're very kind and good," smiled Wendolene.

"Won't you come to my house?" asked Wallace. "Gromit and I are going to celebrate his name clear by drinking beer."

"Oh, no, not beer!" exclaimed a shocked Wendolene. "Sorry, it gives me liver cancer. Can't stand the stuff."

And just by hearing that, Wallace felt like his organs and his bones were dropped out of his body. "Not even Bluebird Bitter?" he asked.

"Well, we've got to be on our way," said Wendolene. "Goodbye, Chuck." But Wallace turned around and walked away very quickly. Gromit unsurely began to follow him. Sadly, Wendolene and Preston went in the other direction.

* * *

Back at 62 West Wallaby Street, now tidy and clean as it was before any sheep set hoof into the house, a heartbroken Wallace sat in his armchair. "What the hell is wrong with Bluebird Bitter?" he asked.

Gromit, sat in an armchair reading the newspaper entitled GROMIT EXONERATED. APOLOGIES, DRUNKEN MUTT! He looked at Wallace.

"Wallace, you've to learn to respect others' point of view," he said, comforting him. "Why should Wendolene change for you, yet _you_ don't need to change for _her_?"

"Yeah, you're right," moaned Wallace. "Just like Luke Skywalker was right about Darth Vader. Talking of which," he went on, cheering up, "all the more for us and not a bloody sheep to worry us or piss us off."

But, when he opened his cupboard, he found all the beer had been drank and the bottles were in pieces. The only unbreakable thing he saw was – Shaun the sheep pissed off.

"Hey, get off me beer!" shouted Wallace angrily. "Sod off! Piss off! Gromit! Go for him!"

"No, sort him out yourself," Gromit told him as he continued to read the paper.

"Yeah," Shaun chuckled as he threw up on the floor. "You can clean that up as I'm too drunk to do it."

* * *

And so the story seemed to have a negative ending. Well, for Wallace for his beer lost, for Gromit back to the way his normal life goes and for Wendolene for never being able to see Wallace again.

But not for the sheep. They could eat the grass, sun-bathe, get drunk at Horace's bar, do water-sports at the pond nearby, or simply just talk and… have a crap.

Only two sheep weren't happy. Meg didn't have a boyfriend. She couldn't even ask Neil because he was dating Connie. One day, she walked to the tree, where a young boyish sheep was hanging.

"Can I help you?" she asked. "I'm Meg, winner of _Sheep's Got Talent!_"

"I'm Jacob," the sheep said. "Would you like to go snorkeling sometime?"

"Would I?" Minutes later, Jacob and Meg were snorkeling in the pond.

Now only Steve was looking for a girl. He was throwing stones in the pond. Then what came out of the water. "A mer-sheep?" he asked puzzled.

"That's right," she said in a heavy male voice. "I want company. Will you join me?" And she pulled Steve in without leaving him time to think.

So maybe this story didn't have such a sad ending after all, don't you think?


	7. Credits

"Yes, I know," sniffed Roger, as he finished the story. "A very sad ending."

But no one was there. All the seats were empty. He went out and saw the campers were dancing round a fire in the rain.

Roger cleared his throat and the campers stopped. "Why are you out here doing the Jack-Sparrow-dance-in-front-of-a-fire dance instead of listening to my story?" he demanded.

"Well, your story was so miserable," said Steve Smith, "we would rather come out and dance in front of a fire in the rain."

"Yeah, I've seen much better story adaption in _The Cat in the Hat_ than your adaptation of _A Close Shave_," laughed Stan Smith. Everyone laughed and agreed.

"I hope the bar's still open," growled Roger walking away.

THE END

(Peter and Brian will return as Wallace and Gromit in the upcoming story, _Baking A Murder_.

Look out for Roger the Alien as Shaun the Sheep getting his own parody series!)

* * *

Cast List

Peter Griffin as Wallace/Sherlock Holmes

Brian Griffin as Gromit/Jack Bauer

Lois Griffin as Wendolene Ramsbottom

Roger the Alien (from _American Dad!_) as Shaun the Sheep.

Ernie the Giant Chicken as Preston the Cyber Chicken.

Sheep Extras

_Family Guy_: Chris Griffin, Meg Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Mort Goldman, Neil Goldman, Horace, Seamus, Carl, Greased-Up Deaf Sheep, Sexy Sheep (Connie DiMico and her cheerleading squad) and Herd Leader Adam West.

_American Dad!_: Stan Smith, Francine Smith, Steve Smith, Hayley Smith, Snot, Barry, Toshi, Jeff Fischer, Jackson, Dick, Sanders, Terry and Greg and Bullock.

_The Cleveland Show_: Cleveland Brown, Cleveland Brown Jr., Donna Tubbs, Roberta Tubbs, Rallo Tubbs, Lester, Holt, Terry, Federline Jones and Coach Charles McFall.

Also Appearing:

Consuela as the Dresser Robot Mark 2

The Kool-Aid Man as himself

The Evil Monkey for a cameo

Joanna as a Hippo

Klaus the Goldfish (from _American Dad!_) as himself

Mr. Flippers (from _The Cleveland Show_) as himself

Tim the Bear (from_ The Cleveland Show_) as the Warden

Recurring:

Dr. Hartman as the Dresser Robot Mark 1

Tom Tucker as himself

Diana Simmons as herself

Ollie Williams as himself

And Stewie Griffin as Feathers McGraw

Other Characters:

Sherlock Holmes

Dr. Watson

C-3PO

Rats and Ninja Turtles in the basement

Robocop

Judge Dredd

Judge Death

Shojun the Warlord

Stan Lee

Inspector Gadget

Gadgetmoblie

Indiana Jones

Henry Jones Sr.

Sallah

Marcus Bordy

The Doctor (Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Incarnations)

Rose Tyler

Martha Jones

Donna Noble

Amy Pond

Space Pig (from _Aliens of London_)

Luke Skywalker and Rouge Squadron

Donald Duck

Daffy Duck

**Credits**

Written by Bobby South

Based on _A Close Shave_ written by Nick Park and Bob Baker

Wallace and Gromit created by Nick Park

_Family Guy, American Dad! and The Cleveland Show_ created by Seth MacFarlane

_Family Guy_ co-developed by David Zuckerman

_American Dad! _co-created by Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman

_The Cleveland Show _co-created by Richard Appel and Mike Henry


End file.
